The Newlywed Game
by Ciel D'or Serendipite
Summary: The younger man glared at his opponent with vigor, determined to win. Tezuka stared unflinchingly, equally firm in his unrelenting will to overcome his adversary. "Ready...go!" Their hands shot out. "Rock, paper, SCISSORS!" Rated T because I have no idea.


*crawls out nervously* Um...hi...it's, uh, been awhile huh...Peace offering? *pushes ficcy out and quickly runs and takes refuge*

But really, I'm sorry it's been awhile since I updated anything. (Especially the guys from Starting Over cuz it's been over a month already...*cries*)

Warnings: CRACK-ish, drunk-atobe-ish Tezuka moments, Ryoma being lovely, Fuji and Yukimura TOGETHER, too many weddings. etc.

Disclaimer: I OWN NONE OF THIS. Not even the game idea...*sighs*

* * *

Tezuka really, really, _really _wanted to stop. But he couldn't. After all, it was Seigaku tradition.

It was Fuji who started it. When he went on his honeymoon with Rikkai's former Captain, Yukimura Seiichi, the couple discovered a game.

When they came back, they told their friends about it, and at Eiji and Oishi's wedding they convinced the couple to try the game out on their Honeymoon.

And being at the wedding and all, Tezuka noticed that no one really knew the rules of the game. Only those that had already been married at that point knew about it, and no one would tell either. Fuji had smiled and said,

"_Saa, Tezuka, only the newlyweds get to play the game, you know."_

And Tezuka hadn't minded after that time.

But the game spread. It stayed generally within Seigaku, Rikkai and eventually Hyoutei regulars too, but he was sure a few others knew about it.

Slowly, Tezuka started to notice a pattern.

Everytime one of the various couples would return, they always got together, and Tezuka was always invited too. It's always organized by Fuji.

One of the two would just about constantly happy; or at the very least pleased. But the attitude of the other would be varied sometimes embarrassed sometimes grumbly and sometimes, just as pleased as the other.

However, Tezuka being Tezuka, he really had no concern for such things that had no immediate effect upon his everyday life, and promptly forgot about it, even as more events came to pass.

He hadn't thought about it at all until that fateful day.

After many years of being together, he, Tezuka Kunimitsu finally asked Echizen Ryoma, his beautiful lover to marry him. He had smiled more than his lifetime's share in those few months after his soon-to-be-spouse had agreed. Within a short period of time they had been ready; invitations sent out, party set, food catered and everything else had been done.

When the vows had been done and they had kissed, Tezuka had felt like Ryoma's smile made his insides glow with bursts of stars, and in turn he offered it with his own bright smile, teeth and all.

They had, of course, invited all their rivals (friends) from the tennis circuit to the event.

And, of course, it was from Fuji's lips that the simple question spilled.

As they sat around eating with various members of schools, Tezuka spotted Fuji whispering to Yukimura in a very suspicious fashion. Suddenly, Fuji's mischievous blues opened and he addressed Tezuka.

"So Tezuka, you'll play won't you?"

And at first Tezuka had no clue what Fuji was speaking of. But then it hit him. _'Shit.' _A strange sense of foreboding overcame him at the thought.

"No thanks." He declined immediately.

Yukimura decided it was his turn to chime in.

"Ehh? Surely you two will right? I mean it's practically tradition, ne~?"

Tezuka began feeling uncomfortable at the stares of both sadis- uh, tensais.

It seems Kikumaru heard the last part and figured out what they were talking about.

"Sou, sou! You have to play too, Buchou, Ochibi! The Newlywed game!" He called over from his seat next to his husband. Beside him Oishi flushed a bright pink.

Tezuka began getting even more nervous as most of the former regulars on the table's eyes turned towards them. Well, more specifically, _him, _because he could feel Ryoma's cheek slightly slumped against his shoulder, and it wasn't really unexpected because Ryoma always gets sleepy after eating, but Tezuka really wished his spouse would wake up and help him.

"Tezuka, it's only fair, all the rest of us did it." Oshitari smirked a few seats away. Tezuka frowned but then Sanada added some words that made Tezuka start give in…

"Even if we didn't want to, we all did it. Even me, Tezuka." And he was obviously sour about it.

But of course it was Atobe Keigo who dealt the final blow.

Elbow leaning on the shoulder of his stoic lover, wine glass in hand, he drawled,

"Hmph, you two couldn't possibly _scared, _ahn?" His fine silver locks, slightly curled, were brushed away by an elegant hand.

The jibe was probably meant for Tezuka since Ryoma looked like he was almost completely passed out but at his words Ryoma's head snapped to attention and he whirled around.

"Like hell, Monkey King." Ryoma's large golden eyes that had never seemed to mature were still clouded, and Ryoma probably wasn't really aware of what he was saying.

Tezuka sighed. He really wanted to bang his head against the wall.

* * *

As soon as they had some free time Ryoma cornered Tezuka. Meaning after they settled in slept off jet lag and did some 'other things'.

Tezuka wanted to bang his head in. Again.

He really wished Ryoma had some sense of caution. Or fear. Or dread. Or- ok, never mind.

His Ryoma sat across from him in a tensed sort of sitting position as if he was going to battle him. Sitting down. Well, technically, he was, but we're getting to that.

"So." Ryoma started eyes determined, eyebrows set in a frown, and lips in a pulled down frown-pout-ish position.

"So." Tezuka returned evenly, brows ticking.

"Fuji-sempai…said _that_ first right?"

"…Aa."

The younger man glared at his opponent with vigor, determined to win. Tezuka stared unflinchingly, equally firm in his unrelenting will to overcome his adversary.

"Rock," Ryoma said slowly, with apprehension.

Tezuka said the next with equal trepidation, "Paper,"

"Secateurs/Scissors!" They said it like a battle cry.

Their hands shot out at the precise moment, both unintentionally closing their eyes for fear of the outcome.

Ryoma cracked an eye open, trying to see through his eyelashes the victor of the game.

"Kunimitsu…"He addressed his other quietly.

"…Nani?" He replied; Ryoma saw that he still hadn't opened his eyes.

"…Well, first of all it's scissors not secateurs, but…we both did rock."

"Eh...A-aa…" Tezuka cast his eyes downward in a show of slight embarrassment at getting the word wrong. He didn't look embarrassed in the normal sense, but Ryoma could read his expressions so all was well.

He cast his dark hazel eyes back up to meet Ryoma's gold.

"Again?"

"Un."

They're hands were braced once again in the starting position.

"…Rock…"

"…Paper…"

"Sec-Scissors/Scissors!"

Tezuka smiled (inwardly, of course). He got it right this time. Well, close enough anyway.

"Tch," Ryoma's noise of annoyance cut through his victory thoughts.

"Both paper." He was frowning in confusion mixed with irritation. Tezuka idly wondered if they could pull off Synchro.

He shrugged lightly and leaned over kissing Ryoma softly on the forehead.

"The third time's the charm, as they say." The barest hint of an amused smile played at the corner of his lips.

"Humph…ok, ready?" For (hopefully) the last time, they got their hands at the ready.

"Rock."

"Paper."

"Scissors!"

Tezuka's eyes widened slightly, as did Ryoma's.

"Fuck."

This time, Tezuka fought back a smirk.

* * *

"Come on Ryoma, you were the one so eager to play earlier, remember?"

Tezuka tried to encourage his smaller lover, as he held out his cards.

"That was before I knew I was gonna lose."

"Don't be a sore sport…" He held Ryoma's cheek softly, and tilted his chin up for a kiss. Warm, and sweet their lips melted together. Tezuka pulled away to see a light pink dust Ryoma's cheek before he pushed it down.

"Che, you better not have written anything funny on those cards." The older smiled knowing that meant his lover had given in.

"…Well, I can't really say that..." He teased.

"Oh, shut up and let's just get it over with..." Ryoma snapped back sassily.

Ryoma sighed, closing his eyes as he reached out hesitantly. As soon as his fingers touched a card he tugged on the object, anxious to be done with it already.

Even as he held it in his hands, Ryoma kept his eyes firmly shut. Tezuka saw the muscles of his eyelid twitch a few times as if he were trying to open them and he couldn't.

"Augh! I can't look…Kunimitsu…wha…what was it…?"

"Er…it-"

"Shit, I can already tell I'm not gonna like it…" Ryoma said looking as though he were about be told he couldn't participate in Wimbledon.

"Well, _I _think it's not that bad…at least compared to some of the other things you could have chosen...but…you might…have a different opinion…"

"Gah…I can't stand it…just tell me!"

"…Well, it's-"

"Forget it!"

He opened his eyes just enough to squint at the words written on the card in Tezuka's neat, elegant, handwriting.

Ryoma never knew that just seven words could bring so much terror.

* * *

Tezuka watched as Ryoma's eyes widened in terror. He bit his lip when he saw the other man's body stiffen until his back was straight as a board. Now he looked as if he'd just lost Wimbledon to Horio.

"…I honestly didn't think you would choose that one…" He lackadaisically offered in an attempt to comfort his Ryoma.

"Kunimitsu…a week…?"

"Er…well...I…"

Ryoma held up the rectangular piece of paper.

'Dress as a woman for a week.'

Tezuka really did feel a _little_ guilty for actually writing it down, knowing how his spouse hated to wear anything, be associated with or have anything to do with the word girly. Let's just say, dressing as a woman was not very high on Ryoma's to do list.

However, he felt much more guilty about the fact that he really liked seeing Ryoma in women's clothes (this isn't the first time…), and was secretly happy he chose that card.

"UGH." Ryoma slumped in defeat.

Tezuka tried to hold off a small smile once again, seeing how very much like a tired kitten Ryoma looked in the slumped position.

He moved closer and Ryoma lifted his head up a small amount, to lie on his spouse's lap.

The taller man threaded his hands through the dark raven-emerald strands, comforting the sulking one.

"Perhaps now isn't the best time to remind you that Fuji sentenced us to fulfill your task _after _we get back to Japan."

"Kunimitsu…shut up."

Tezuka let out a quiet chuckle, fingertips dancing across Ryoma's smooth skin. The younger sighed leaning into Tezuka's warm touch and tried not to think about the dreadful near future. Yup, just enjoooyyy the honeymoon.

"Fuck you, Fuji-sempai." He mumbled, drifting to sleep against the calming feeling of his lover's fingers.

* * *

Sooo...can anyone guess what manga this game is from? Brownies if you know it! I didn't follow the rules perfectly but I tried...

This originally started off short. It was _supposed_ to be a drabble. (I follow the rule that drabbles must stay under 1,000 words [originally drabbles are supposed to stay within 100 though])

If you haven't figured it out by looking at my drabble collection, I'm not too good at those. They always end up longer than they're supposed too. Someday...

This also started off just being mildly amusing but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn and I think I ended up a bit into crackville. Just a little. I think it was when I tried to do Tezuka. My Tezuka scares me. He seriously sounds like a mildly tipsy Atobe sometimes. Mostly when he talks about Ryoma though. Never mind I'm shutting up.

I'm also working on another oneshot (while I avoid my chapter stories) but it's a lot longer. It'll be awhile before it's done.

Review?


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